you've got the universe in your soul

I’m going to do my best to articulate all of this. However, I am not a scientist or a physicist which means a lot of this is above my paygrade. The wormhole team discovered a dimension that was deteriorating early today. Some sort of gamma radiation-based degradation. In examining the dimension, they discovered that it placed them into a high school environment of 2003. However, instead of allowing them to transition to the dimension, they found themselves inhabiting teen counterparts of themselves. No, I don’t have any explanation for it either. Apparently, using the tech that normally allows them to access another dimension puts them into the driver seat of a counterpart instead.

The source of the gamma radiation is a Science Club project that was stolen on Monday night. Our team at Snow Valley is going to work with the portal people to try and find it. However, it is unravelling this dimension, and the big brains think it’s got a couple of days left. However, they also found that when we transition to the dimension, the degradation rate slows. So while our teams find the device, we need as many people as possible from the mansion to spend some time as their teen counterparts.

Yes, I know how crazy it all sounds, but we need as much time as possible. Colbert and I have assembled dossiers on everyone who has a counterpart. Right now, our guidelines are to stick with school and afterschool. Family time is most likely to show that the person isn’t acting as normal. When shifting to the other dimension, your physical form is in statis, so you’re perfectly safe. If you’re willing to volunteer, come and meet us and we’ll provide you with as many details as we have. We’re trying to set up some subject matter experts for a US high school in 2003 to help people.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but the location if Claremont High School, in Kirby, Illinois. You are one of the Claremont Firebirds – ‘the best at what we do’. I know it sounds like a fever dream but these are real people with real lives. If we can’t find the device, their existence disappears in a couple of days. I suggest lying low, using injury excuses to avoid sports practices and theatre practice… Colbert is reminding me to mention that the school musical this year is ‘Grease’ which is sapping my will to live. Look, apparently whatever we do in their forms, they will mentally justify it but stay as close to the norm as possible. They are the ones who must deal with the repercussions.

If you’re willing to help, contact Barton and his people and let them know. If you have questions about the science, ask literally everyone else. Snow Valley, you’re on the job as of now. Colbert and I have assignments for you.